If we were having coffee we’d be sitting on my porch swing. A favorite spot when you would visit. We’d have some homemade sticky buns with our coffee for your special day. I sent some to Tara and the kids hoping having one of your favorite treats would make the day a little easier.
If we were having coffee I’d tell you we celebrated your life in early December. You wouldn’t believe the crowd that gathered. The tribute ride by your biker friends on a cold December day was touching. The kids and Tara put together a wonderful display of your life. Your oldest used his skills to make a video collection of favorite memories set to the the song Forever Young by Rod Stewart. Your youngest shared words well beyond what anyone would expect a 16 year old to be able to share after losing his dad and your girl was right there by her mom’s side greeting everyone who came. The next day we gathered at the cidery to toast you.
If we were having coffee I’d tell you you fought an unbelievably hard fight against leukemia. I know you spent way more days in the hospital than anyone should have to. I know you did all you could to fight this insidious disease and I wish this hadn’t happened to our family.
If we were having coffee I’d tell you how much we have missed you in the four months since you left. There’s been Christmas, New Year’s, birthdays, anniversaries and just regular old days when you’ve been missed. It’s been hard for everyone. Family and friends have been there for Tara and the kids. We do what we can to try to ease the pain but sometimes I know we just can’t. My experiences with grief tell me it will get easier with time and how much time that takes will be different for everyone.
If we were having coffee I would tell you that Tara has been doing some of those things to the house the two of you planned. The windows have been replaced along with the flooring and the bathroom vanity. I haven’t seen it yet but the photos look great. She had to replace the dishwasher too though that one wasn’t planned. You would be so proud of her and I’m sure it wouldn’t surprise you that she has jumped right in doing what needs to be done. She loves her new job by the way and they have been really great to her.
If we were having coffee I’d tell you I miss your laugh and your dancing at family events. I would thank you for the way you supported Tara when she suddenly found herself alone and on her own when our mom died. You told me you would take care of her and you kept that promise. I would reassure you that we will all do whatever we can to support her and the kids now. I hope that brings you peace.
If we were having coffee I’d wish you a Happy Birthday dear Tim. We love and miss you.
My Three Positives in Memory of Tim
1. I was able to write this slice which has been weighing heavy on my heart all month.
2. The sticky buns arrived in time.
3. Tim brought joy and laughter to our family.